“Do you know why I stopped you ma ám?”

The whoop of the siren, check the rear- view and what a surprise! For whom the lights flash? They flash for you! A cop younger than some of the shoes I own pulls me over and so help me hannah but my insurance’s expired, as is my ownership and my plates…how did that happen? For a nano-second, he suspects I stole my beater, but why would I? Why would anyone steal an ancient Topaz with a dead pigeon on the aerial? (no – not a real one, it’s an in-joke, but you can get a visual, can’t you?) What to do? What to do? Aha – pull rank. Get all smarmy and play the one card that might work. Mention that so and so is going to get such giggle out of this cause he’s a member (code, for  ‘cop’ ). Well, well – it was as if a switch were thrown. Not only did my car not get towed - I only got a warning and missed out on over $1,000 in fines! Phew! I remedied said crimes immediately but sheesh, feeling like a criminal for even that few minutes was hairy.